5/27/2018

“...What?” My hand trembled at my ear, barely holding the phone up.

“We need a break,” she said. “I just can't deal with this right now. I've got way too much stress in my life to be able to process this.”

I cleared my throat, frantically searching for the words to say. “I...I just don't understand. I mean, if you just need more time, I get it, but...why?”

“I want our friendship back. You need time to get over me.”

I shook my head. “That doesn't just happen.”

“I know, which is why you need time.”

I wanted to tell her that that wouldn't happen. But I knew it was no use.

“You know I wouldn't do this without a lot of serious thought beforehand,” she said, firmly but gently. “I still care about you, and you're one of my best friends. But I can't handle this weight you've put on me.”

I rubbed the condensation from my visual receptors. “Have I treated you any differently before or after?”

She hesitated. “No,” she stated. “But you really shouldn't have said anything.”

“You saw how hard it was for me,” I murmured. “I didn't say it because I wanted to. And I certainly didn't say it expecting to gain anything from it. I said it because I knew I had to.”

“Well…” She hummed thoughtfully for a moment. “You need to ask Him why He wanted you to tell me that. Because it really wasn't a good time.”

How? She had been so understanding, so kind. We talked about it. But then she went and talked to others, and now her opinions and feelings were so different.

Were they the toxic ones? Or was I?

“Is there anything else you want to say before I hang up?” She always was so blunt.

There was plenty I wanted to say. I was lost in confusion and hurting and fear. How could this be happening to me again? Again?

But I knew I couldn't. She was done.

“No.”

“Alright. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Click.

I slumped back in my seat and closed my eyes.

“God, why did you take her from me?”