3/20/2018

"I could do it, you know."

He squinted at me, his head cocked ever so curiously. "Really? What makes you say that?"

"I don't have to be afraid. No matter what I do, where I go, I'll never be alone."

He scoffed. "You're always alone, idiot."

I offered a shrug, looking away. "I don't really care what you think. I want to do something for me."

"Nothing you do is for you. It can't be. You're too dependent on everyone else."

"Generosity and dependence are not the same."

"So why are they to you?"

"They're not."

"You can't do anything by yourself. You can't move out until you find a roommate; you can't take a trip without someone to hold your hand along the way. You can't even get yourself through a stressful situation without breaking down onto somebody else!"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I can't afford to move out yet. I want to share the excitement. And I have people to catch me when I fall. Why is that so wrong?"

"You claim reasons. I hear excuses."

I turned away. "Shut up."

"Real mature, turning your back when things get tough."

"Shut up."

"Grow up!"

"I don't need you!" I bellowed, spinning on my heel to face him. "I don't need this! Why can't you just be supportive of me? Why can't you do anything but drag me down?!"

The grimmest of smirks creased his lips. "Because that's what I am."

I turned to leave, my face red and steaming like a fresh-cooked lobster.

"She'll never say yes. You know that."

I swung around once more, my fist crashing into the glass.